Through the Back Gate

In early 2016, the answer to the question, "Annabelle, do you know where you are going to college?"

At the sophomore parents meeting held early in the fall of 2013, the upper school head had but one fervent message: 

GO VISIT COLLEGES TODAY, TOMORROW, ANY WAKING HOUR. 

DO IT NOW. 

TIME IS NOT YOUR FRIEND.

It was a stunning call to action, and I had the highest intentions about answering the bell. As promised, time did slip away, and when that sneaky senior year arrived, Annabelle was not well traveled when it came to colleges. With the clock ticking loudly in the background, we scrambled out the door on miniature world tours to schools--big, small, and in between. And we still came up way short in college visits.

When 2016 began, Annabelle’s college future was a big unknown. Furman University dwelled somewhere-ish on the radar screen—but when they found her and eventually presented attractive incentives, a trip to Accepted Students Day became a dandy idea. 

My knowledge of Furman consisted of our dear friend Sande sharing how much her then-junior son loved his life on the beautiful campus of a university known for being academically challenging and building lifelong friendships. Accepted Student Annabelle was neutral on the subject, so we were both pretty much blank slates ready to be dazzled as we drove up I-85 to South Carolina and asked Siri to show us the way from the interstate to FU. 

While many friends had breathlessly detailed Greenville’s vibrant greatness, Siri led us through an intriguing corridor of used car lots, payday loan places, and secondhand appliance stores. But soon a right and then a left revealed the promise of good things to come--a set of brick pillars with a subtle Furman University reference. Siri told us we had arrived. 

While we had anticipated a moment like seeing Disney’s Magic Kingdom for the first time, we saw athletic practice fields, nondescript parking lots, and what looked like the underpinnings of a promising campus. Stopping to regroup, Annabelle announced we must pretend this had never occurred and start all over again. Out we went between the pillars through which we had just passed. 

And shortly thereafter, we located Furman's real front entrance, gates that are a prelude to the magnificent fountain, the long tree-lined mall, the lush green lawns laden with criss-crossing brick paths leading to an array of understated and lovely buildings. Like magic, one glimpse of this splendor and it was like our first campus entry had never happened at all. 

~~~~~

Here is the Reader's Digest version of the Furman beginning: 

• Accepted Students Day - I loved the university - Annabelle thought it was ok
• Freshman Orientation - I loved everything - Annabelle didn’t like much of anything.
• Move-in Day - Annabelle met all her best friends for the next four years and loved everything 

And these four years full of exceeded expectations have flown by, each semester more fun and better than the last. While college days are never perfectly perfect, Annabelle’s glide through Furman has kept me anchored in perpetual thankfulness for great opportunities, friends, professors, travel, and significant experiences that have been served up on a silver platter. Courtesy of social media magic, I have had a front row seat to (almost) all of the above, and have heard enough to be familiar with the big players. 

And so when 2020 began, it was with a mixture of joy and sadness the countdown to the launch from Furman began. Annabelle was eagerly anticipating the landmark events that were left in her college career (and what she would wear to each). Knowing their college time together was precious, she, her roommates, and friends were dedicated to making memories in marvelous ways while studying hard and making post-graduate plans. 

In early March, Annabelle went off to Scotland for her final spring break and, by the time she returned, the whole world had flipped over into something brand new. Just like that, with a hasty and unceremonious campus exodus, senior year was all but over. There were no real goodbyes with friends, neighbors, professors, or the Furman Police who had grown pretty fond of writing parking tickets for Annabelle. Winding up back here on my sofa attending disembodied Zoom classes in isolation was a very weird way to end wonderful college years. 

~~~~~

The long-anticipated graduation day, Saturday, May 9th, is almost here. I expect it might be an unusual time of considering what the day might have been for Furman Class of 2020 and their families. I imagine this is the same for the many other Classes of 2020 all across the country missing their end-of-school-year commencement ceremonies. It seems very strange to sit here and say Annabelle is a college graduate without the official spring confirmation, benediction, parties, tears, pictures, and hugs. 

In 2016, we were unaware and I was totally unprepared for the big Furman surprise that snuck up on us, and the last days of this senior year were just as sneaky and startling. Somehow it feels like Annabelle ended up leaving Furman through the back gate, kind of like the first day we were ever there. 

The university has promised a traditional Furman graduation ceremony in the fall which I hope will present the opportunity for one last official trip through the front gate to see all of those 2016 Freshman Move-In Day friends walk down the tree-lined mall together. 

I really hope that, just like these last four Furman years, fall commencement far exceeds expectations and makes spring's abrupt campus departure feel like it never happened at all.